Men in Fostering: Why We Need More Male Foster Carers

Most first enquiries to a fostering agency come from women. If you are a man wondering whether you would be taken seriously, this is for you. Here is what male carers actually do, and what gets in the way.

Do agencies actually want male foster carers?

Yes.

England had 42,190 fostering households at 31 March 2025. Across that year 4,115 households were newly approved and 4,690 stopped fostering, so the total fell again (Ofsted, Fostering in England 2024 to 2025). Ofsted received 8,290 new applications in the same period. The Fostering Network puts the gap at around 6,500 more fostering families needed in England.

A shortfall that size does not close by asking the same people twice.

How many male foster carers are there in the UK?

Nobody can tell you precisely, and you should be wary of anyone who claims otherwise.

Ofsted’s annual fostering collection publishes household numbers and carers’ ages. It does not publish a breakdown by sex. Our own training factsheet, written in January 2021, put the number of male carers in the UK at around 30,000. We could not stand that figure up against any current national source, so we are not repeating it as fact.

What is on the record is this. Most fostering households have two approved carers. And around a third of approved mainstream carers in England are now aged 60 or over, with 37 per cent in their fifties, which tells you the sector needs new people rather more urgently than it usually admits.

What does a man actually bring to a fostering household?

Something specific, and it has nothing to do with being able to kick a football.

Some children arrive having only known men who frightened them. Others have never watched a man do the washing up, or sit through a parents’ evening, or apologise properly. A boy who has been told he is turning out just like his father, and that this is a bad thing, needs to see another version of what a man is.

That work does not happen in a therapy room. It happens at the kitchen table over a 500-piece puzzle with no phone out, on a touchline in February, in the ten minutes in the car on the way home when a child finally says something true.

Things male carers do that children notice:

• Being predictable, so a child can guess what you will do next
• Saying what you feel out loud instead of going quiet
• Doing the ordinary jobs: the cooking, the school run
• Turning up to the school meeting and the match
• Backing your partner in front of the children and disagreeing with her in private
• Using authority without volume

None of that requires a qualification. It requires you to be there on the dull days as well as the birthdays. If you are still working out what the role involves day to day, start with what fostering actually is.

So why do so few men come forward?

Partly because the sector has been careless about it.

Men who want to look after children are still sometimes met with a pause. Our factsheet says it plainly: men who want to foster are sometimes viewed with suspicion. Ask around a room of male carers and most can name the moment they felt it.

Then there is the paperwork habit. Letters and training invitations addressed to the woman in the household, with his name added second or left off. Do that for two years and you have taught a full member of the care team that he is the spare.

If that happens to you with us, say so to your supervising social worker. It is a fair thing to raise and we would rather hear it than not.

Is the training aimed at men at all?

Not always, and male carers say so.

Skills to Foster and the courses that follow are written for carers in general, which usually means they skip the things men ask about: how physical play is read by other people, what to do when a child tests whether you will shout, how to be affectionate with a child who has been hurt by a man. Those questions come up in supervision and in peer groups more than in the course notes. A male carers’ group is worth joining for that reason alone.

What about the risk of an allegation?

It is a real worry and it deserves a straight answer rather than reassurance.

Allegations happen in fostering, to men and to women. They get investigated, and they should be, because a child has to be able to raise something and be taken seriously.

What protects you is not keeping your distance from children. It is your safer caring policy: a written agreement covering car journeys, bedrooms and bathrooms, physical contact, tone of voice, how anger gets shown in your house. You write it with your supervising social worker and you keep it up to date as the child changes.

At first it feels like another form. After a few months it is instinct. You know without thinking that you do not sit in a bedroom with the door shut, and that a hug after a scraped knee is exactly the right thing.

We have written separately about what an allegation is like for the carer on the receiving end, because pretending it never happens would help nobody.

Can you foster if you work full time?

Often, yes, depending on the child and on your hours.

Plenty of men assume a job rules them out and never make the call. It might mean dropping to part-time, or offering respite rather than full-time care. Before you rule yourself out, read how other carers have gone about balancing a full-time job with fostering.

Who can apply?

• You need to be over 21. Gov.uk sets the legal floor at 18 and notes that most agencies ask for 21, which is what we ask
• A UK resident, or with indefinite leave to remain
• Emotionally resilient, with a stable home
• A spare bedroom for most placements, though a baby under two can sleep in a cot in your room, so a spare room is not always the deciding factor
• You do not need to own your home, be married, have children of your own, or hold any childcare qualification
• Single men can and do foster

Approval takes four to six months from application to fostering panel. The assessment process is thorough, and you are not left to work it out alone.

You will not be doing this on your own

Our supervising social workers hold around six families each, which is how you get a call answered rather than a voicemail.

Beyond that:

• A financial contribution towards your council tax as part of the reward package
• A lead education consultant who tracks how the children in our care are doing at school
• Independence workshops for young people covering first aid, vaping, and rights and entitlements
• A Youth Council that has written questions put to our fostering panel
• Pocket-sized cards children carry with contact details for raising a worry

Ofsted inspected us from 18 to 22 November 2024 and called us a good agency with outstanding leadership and management. One of our carers told the inspectors: “My supervising social worker has been an absolute lifeline for me. I feel so much more confident in my role because of her.”

Fostering is not about being the perfect man. It is about being the steady one.

Frequently asked questions

Can a single man foster?

Yes. You do not need a partner. You will need a support network around you, which is something we look at during assessment and help you build.

Do I need to be a father already?

No. Having raised children is useful experience, and so is coaching, teaching, youth work or looking after nieces and nephews. Never having been a parent does not count against you.

Will I be treated as the second carer?

You should not be, and if you are, tell us. Both approved carers in a household are full members of the team, and both get their own supervision and their own say at review.

How long does approval take?

Four to six months in most cases. That covers background checks, a home study with your assessing social worker, then Skills to Foster training before your case goes to fostering panel.