Have you ever walked into a room and instantly felt tense, even though nothing seemed wrong? Or snapped at a colleague without realising you were carrying stress from an earlier situation? This isn’t just about mood—it’s about how our bodies process and hold on to experiences.
Dr. Sorcha Mathews’ engaging session, “The Child Who Mistook a Smile for a Threat,” explored how our nervous system, emotions, and physical environment interact to shape our workplace behaviour and relationships, especially in high-stress environments like fostering services.
Understanding how our bodies respond to stress isn’t just a personal wellness tool—it’s a professional asset that can improve communication, empathy, and decision-making.
The Science Behind Our Reactions: The ‘Window of Tolerance’
At the heart of Sorcha’s presentation was the concept of the “Window of Tolerance”—the optimal zone where we feel calm, in control, and able to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.
When we’re inside this window, we can:
- Think clearly
- Manage emotions effectively
- Adapt to challenges
- Communicate constructively
But stress can push us outside this window, leading to:
🔴 Hyperarousal (Too Much Activation): Anxiety, racing thoughts, irritability, impulsive reactions
🔵 Hypoarousal (Not Enough Activation): Numbness, disconnection, feeling drained, shut down
What’s fascinating is how subtle cues—a tone of voice, a cluttered environment, even a facial expression—can trigger these shifts without us even realising it.
How Early Experiences Shape Our Stress Responses
Sorcha emphasised that our reactions aren’t random—they’re often rooted in early developmental experiences. As children, we learn coping mechanisms based on how we’re supported (or not) during stressful moments.
For example:
- Consistent comfort when upset teaches us resilience and emotional flexibility.
- Neglect or harsh discipline can lead to chronic stress patterns—always on high alert or emotionally shut down.
These patterns don’t disappear when we grow up. They show up in how we handle workplace stress, interpersonal conflicts, and even leadership roles.
Self-Reflection: The Key to Better Workplace Interactions
One of the most powerful takeaways from the session was the importance of self-reflection: regularly checking in with yourself to understand your emotional and physical state.
Ask yourself:
- “Am I feeling tense, distracted, or overwhelmed right now?”
- “Is this reaction about the current situation, or something deeper?”
- “How might my current state be influencing my tone, decisions, or behaviour towards others?”
This isn’t just introspection for the sake of it. Self-awareness helps prevent emotional spillover—where personal stress impacts professional relationships. In fostering, this is especially critical when supporting carers who may be dealing with complex emotional situations themselves.
The Power of the Physical Environment
Sorcha highlighted something we often overlook: our physical environment has a direct impact on our emotional state and interactions.
Consider these simple shifts:
- Lighting: Harsh, bright lights can increase stress levels, while softer lighting promotes calm.
- Clutter: A messy workspace can create mental clutter, increasing feelings of overwhelm.
- Movement: Changing your posture or even walking around can “reset” your nervous system, helping you re-engage with fresh energy.
- Nature: Incorporating natural elements—plants, natural light, even images of nature—can have a grounding effect.
Interestingly, even how we physically position ourselves in meetings can influence the dynamic. Sitting side-by-side rather than across from someone can feel less confrontational, encouraging more open dialogue.
Practical Somatic Strategies for the Workplace
Sorcha didn’t just leave us with theory—she shared practical tools to regulate our nervous systems and improve workplace interactions.
When You Need to ‘Up-Regulate’ (Boost Focus & Energy):
- Use a strong scent (like citrus or peppermint) to stimulate alertness.
- Stand up, stretch, or stomp your feet to reconnect with your body.
- Engage with your surroundings: “What are five things I can see? Four I can feel? Three I can hear?”
- Play upbeat music for a quick energy shift.
- Throw a soft ball with a colleague, naming colours as a playful reset.
When You Need to ‘Down-Regulate’ (Calm & Ground Yourself):
- Place one hand on your heart, the other on your belly—feel your breath.
- Notice physical contact points: feet on the floor, back against a chair.
- Try “mindful touch”—pressing your hands together gently to feel grounded.
- Slow, deep breathing with extended exhales helps activate the calming part of the nervous system.
- Use calming scents like lavender to soothe the senses.
Impact Beyond the Individual: Fostering a Body-Informed Workplace Culture
This isn’t just about individual self-care. When teams become more body-aware, it fosters:
- Healthier communication: Recognising when someone’s stress response is driving their behaviour helps avoid unnecessary conflict.
- Stronger support systems: Colleagues can better identify when someone might need a break or a grounding moment.
- More effective leadership: Leaders who model emotional regulation create environments where others feel safe to do the same.
In the context of fostering agencies, this is transformative. Being attuned to our own stress responses helps us be more present, empathetic, and effective when supporting foster carers and young people, many of whom have their own histories of trauma.
Final Thoughts: What’s Your Next Step?
Dr. Sorcha Mathews’ session left us with a powerful message: “Your body holds the story—but you have the tools to rewrite how it affects your present.”
So, here’s a challenge:
- Take a moment right now. How are you feeling—in your body, not just your mind?
- What’s one small change you could make to your environment or routine today to support your well-being?
- How might your current emotional state be influencing your interactions with colleagues or foster carers?
💬 Let’s keep the conversation going: What somatic strategies have worked for you? How do you manage stress in high-pressure situations? Share your thoughts in the comments!
additional resources:
Your body language may shape who you are
Body language affects how others see us, but it may also change how we see ourselves. Social psychologist Amy Cuddy argues that “power posing” — standing in a posture of confidence, even when we don’t feel confident — can boost feelings of confidence, and might have an impact on our chances for success.
“Fake It Till You Become It”: The Power of Body Language for Our Staff, Foster Carers, and Children in Care
Based on Amy Cuddy’s TED Talk
Introduction: A Simple, No-Tech Life Hack
Imagine if you could change how confident, capable, and calm you feel—not with therapy, not with months of training, but with something as simple as how you hold your body for just two minutes.
That’s the core message from Amy Cuddy’s powerful TED Talk, where she introduces a simple, evidence-based technique: “Power Posing.” It’s not about pretending to be something you’re not. It’s about changing how you feel from the inside out—a skill that can transform how we support one another in the workplace, how foster carers engage with children, and how young people in care can reclaim a sense of control in their lives.
The Science of Body Language: It’s Not Just About Others—It’s About You
We often think of body language as something we read in others—crossed arms, a slouched posture, or confident eye contact. But what if your own body language is also sending signals to yourself?
Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist, explains that non-verbal behaviour (or “non-verbals”) isn’t just about communication with others. It’s a two-way street:
- Our body language influences how others see us.
- But it also influences how we see ourselves.
Think of it like this: “Fake it till you become it.” If you adopt a confident posture, even if you’re not feeling confident, your brain starts to catch up with your body. It’s not about deception—it’s about rewiring your mindset through physical cues.
What Is a Power Pose?
A “power pose” is any posture where you open up, take up space, and expand your body. It’s the opposite of hunching over, crossing your arms, or making yourself small. Examples include:
- The Wonder Woman Pose: Standing tall, hands on hips, chest out, feet shoulder-width apart.
- Victory Pose: Arms stretched high in a V, chin slightly lifted—like you’ve just crossed a finish line.
- Expansive Sitting: Leaning back with your arms comfortably spread, taking up space.
Interestingly, even people who have been blind from birth adopt victory poses when they succeed—proving this body language is deeply hardwired into human behaviour.
The Impact on Your Brain: Confidence in Just Two Minutes
Amy Cuddy’s research shows that holding a power pose for just two minutes can lead to measurable changes in your body’s chemistry:
- Testosterone (the confidence hormone) increases by 20%.
- Cortisol (the stress hormone) decreases by 25%.
- People become more likely to take positive risks and feel more assertive.
This isn’t about arrogance or dominance. It’s about accessing your inner strength—especially in situations where you feel nervous, overwhelmed, or under pressure.
🚀 Why This Matters for Our Staff
Working in fostering is rewarding but emotionally demanding. Whether it’s managing sensitive meetings, supporting carers through crises, or advocating for a child, there are countless moments where confidence and clarity are essential.
Here’s how staff can apply power posing:
- Before Challenging Conversations: Whether it’s a meeting with external agencies or addressing performance issues, take two minutes beforehand to adopt a power pose privately. It helps you feel grounded and assertive.
- Managing Stressful Days: Feeling overwhelmed by back-to-back responsibilities? A quick posture reset at your desk can lower stress levels and help you refocus.
- Role Modelling for Others: When staff embody confidence and calmness, it sets the tone for teams and helps foster carers feel supported and reassured.
Key Takeaway for Staff:
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Taking two minutes to regulate your own mindset through body language can improve your leadership, decision-making, and emotional resilience.
🏡 Why This Matters for Foster Carers
Foster carers face unique challenges. They’re often navigating complex behaviours, emotional outbursts, and high-stress situations—all while trying to provide stability and warmth.
Here’s how carers can use this technique:
- De-escalation Tool: When a situation with a child becomes tense, carers can ground themselves with a power pose before responding. It helps them stay calm and avoid reactive behaviour.
- Rebuilding Self-Confidence: Many carers experience moments of self-doubt. Power posing can be a simple way to reconnect with their sense of capability—especially after difficult days.
- Modelling Emotional Regulation: Children pick up on non-verbal cues. When carers demonstrate calm, open body language, it can have a calming effect on the child as well.
Key Takeaway for Foster Carers:
“Fake it till you become it” isn’t about pretending. It’s about discovering the calm, confident version of yourself that’s always been there—and using simple tools to bring it to the surface.
🌱 Why This Matters for Children in Foster Care
Children in care have often experienced trauma, which can leave them feeling powerless. They may struggle with low self-esteem, anxiety, or difficulty managing emotions.
The beauty of power posing is that it’s:
- Simple (no special tools needed)
- Private (can be done alone)
- Empowering (it fosters a sense of control)
Practical Ways to Use This with Children:
- Before School or Social Situations: Teach children to “stand like a superhero” in the mirror for two minutes before heading out. It helps boost their confidence.
- Emotional Regulation: When a child feels anxious or upset, guiding them to adopt an open, grounded posture can help shift their emotional state. Pair it with deep breathing for added effect.
- Building Resilience: Incorporate power poses into activities like morning routines, role-play, or even games. This helps normalise confident body language as part of daily life.
Key Takeaway for Children:
“Your body can be your superpower.” Even if you’re scared or unsure, standing tall can help you feel braver inside.
💡 Reflection for Everyone: “Tiny Tweaks, Big Changes”
Amy Cuddy’s final message is powerful:
“Tiny tweaks can lead to big changes.”
Taking two minutes to stand tall, breathe deeply, and take up space isn’t just a quirky life hack. It’s a tool backed by science that can:
- Reduce stress
- Increase confidence
- Improve emotional resilience
For our staff, foster carers, and the children we support, it’s a simple but transformative practice—one that can be done anytime, anywhere.
✅ Challenge: Try It Today!
- Before your next meeting, take two minutes to adopt a power pose.
- Carers, try standing like a superhero with the children in your care—it’s fun and empowering!
- Staff, when stress hits, pause, stand tall, and breathe.
Let’s build a culture where we not only support others but also empower ourselves with the simplest tools we have—our own bodies.